Today as I finished off my Italian espresso (from my trusty 100 dollar, decade old machine from an Aussie Kmart oh I love Kmart ngeee), I looked into the cup to see an extraordinarily clear inside, with some little country-shaped shapes, and one of a dove alighting on a stubby little tree.
Like most pop new agers, I like the idea of knowing the future, but only if it's good news. Once the bad signs come in, I'm back to the old "you-make-your-own-destiny" belief, which really, is the real reality.
But seeing a dove resting on a gnarly old tree in my coffee cup does make me feel good, even though a part of me realistically says that, if I were a negative person, or a non-creative person who peered into my cup today and saw that shape, I could very well have chosen to see something else, like a monster, or another animal, or whatnot. The key here is perception, and I am very much a believer in how we choose to perceive things a certain way, and not necessarily as they truly are.
Having said that, I am also a great believer in positive feelings and do love to suspend my beliefs for a while in order to indulge in good feelings that bring out good intentions, good vibes and all round goodness.
As I look further into my cup at the bottom, I see a jumping dolphin, which is rather a lovely thing to see, although I have vague memories of Mum saying that a fish in the bottom of the cup signifies a worry, kind of like butterflies in the belly. Technically a dolphin isn't a fish and it isn't wriggly but jumping and diving, so I take it as a glorious leap into the unknown.
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| Dove and tree to the left, dolphin to the right (centre) |
All this comes in the lead up to Hubs going on a pilgrimage of sorts. Of a sudden he was taken by the news of the Palestinians fighting for their homes in Gaza, and has been creating awareness through the avenues of publicity which he has great access to.
One day he calls to say he would like to go to Gaza on an aid mission, and without a thought I said that would be a great idea. Ordinarily, safety and a reluctance to step into the unknown would have me urging him against it, but for some reason this felt totally right, and something I felt he had been searching for, something purposeful and soulful, to put his determination and abilities to use.
The day is coming closer that he will leave on this mission which he hope to document. I know that attempting to record things may actually bring him closer to danger, but overwhelmingly, the need he has to do this, seems to negate that worry of danger.
So perhaps my coffee cup dove is a portent of things to come with regards to his personal mission, or perhaps it is simply wishful thinking on my part. I can only wish for his safe return and send all my good intentions and love and prayers out to the ether as I stay here with our brood and carry on our lives as normal, knowing that for the next week his life will certainly not be normal, and will in fact be, extraordinary.
I do know that even if he only sees the best parts of Gaza, it will be life-changing. Because even the best parts will not compare with what we have here in our safe and comfortable Malaysian lives. I cannot truly say I could wish that kind of discomfort, pain and tragedy on anyone, and it hurts to hear people here with everything to be thankful for, wishing the worst on others.
IF there was anything I could ask for in this world, it would be that for every action that is about to be made, a person would stop and think a moment and decide to take whatever action would improve the situation at hand. Or even stop themselves from doing something harmful, hateful or spiteful. Then we would have true grace and appreciation for the beauty of our world.
God speed and safe return, and all of my love, my love,
C
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