Lying Down Idolling

Type "lightheadedness" into google and you'll find a forum where all these people in their thirties discuss their sudden-onset dizziness. Most of them just woke up one day with dizzy feelings. Most of them seem to have stress or anxiety disorders, some diagnosed, some not. I have been experiencing some lightheadedness, not really dizziness, not to the point of feeling nauseous or about to faint, but as if my brain is rising up in my head, as if I am travelling quickly over a dip in the road. I have no sensation of imbalance, but sometimes it gets so strong that I feel I might have a sight blackout. I've been treated for it with anti-nausea pills (which I didn't take as I didn't feel nauseous), anti-dizziness pills, which didn't really work, and B vitamins. I intended to have a blood test at the time but was waylaid by the triage nurse and doctor. At the time I had low blood pressure, which I attributed to having fasted all night and then waiting too long before going in for the test. So I will be going back in to insist on bloodwork.

However I have a nagging suspicion it is a combination of stress, bad sleeping patterns and bad nutrition. Lately I have put on quite a bit of weight over a six month period, after maintaining a lighter weight for over 5 years. Sedentary? Yes. Sleepless? Yes. Stimulated? Overly. Stressed? Although not working, and although I seem quite laidback, I am constantly worried and anxious, about other people, and time not spent being healthy and purposeful. Half of it is guilt, and half of it exhaustion - some from bad lifestyle habits, and some residual exhaustion from infant and toddler-raising.

Other possibilities: anaemia (which I had as a child), inner ear problems, unknown reaction to food or allergens, or toxic elements in my habitat.

I just got on the elliptical machine after a few months avoiding it. While I was on, no lightheadedness. Interesting. Whereas while I am at the desk, at my laptop or sitting up but "relaxing"... dizzy, dizzy!

So I have decided I need to hunker down and change my habits a little. Food - I have just started a programme which I love, though the last few days have been a little tough. I'll report back within a month about it, so we'll see how that goes. Sleep - getting there. I sometimes get very tired in the afternoon and can't help snoozing. But I don't like to do that because it affects my nighttime sleep. I used to need at least 8 hours a night. But lately, even if I am tired, I cant seem to shut off. I end up getting about 4 hours and cutting short my sleep to take the kids to school. And I can't shut off because I'm an internet junkie - facebook, youtube, twitter - and most of the time, I'm just refreshing the pages looking for new updates. How sick and sad is that? I have been trying to read instead, but my old favourite pastime seems to lack its usual lustre, and I blame the instantaneousness of the internet. Reading seems like too much hard work, OMG I have turned into an idiot! I AM that person I used to look down on!

It's been a month of lightheadedness and I am going to track any developments here. Meantime - Idol!

My sentiments remain the same. Adam Lambert should win and now I am bored of the whole process and feel like we are basically going through the motions just to get to that point where he wins. However, as usual, you can't trust the viewers to have any taste at all, in fact, I am sure there is a large section of the audience that thinks he is way too gay or talented for his own good.

This week, I did enjoy Scott, surprisingly, but not enough to feel like he should be top three. Anoop was annoying. Kris, though good, seemed forgettable. I don't even remember seeing him before tonight's performance. Still like Danny, but he's no Adam. I am liking Megan more but man that song was pretty crap. Why are all these young kids singing songs chosen from a hippy bohemian hobo trash dumpster person? I like Bob Marley, but that song was oatmeal compared to his other zingers. Lil rounds is probably the next most talented after Adam, but she is sinking into the grey.

Sigh. Seems like the world is going grey all over. And over-cluttered. And filled with angry people I get angry over.

Someone give me a lifetime of spa massages!?

C