they went home for mama's cookin'!
I've been thinking to myself lately, at what point does a man's macho-ness become irritating, or even downright wrong? I like a man to be macho enough to pull his own socks up and get his own dinner, but sensitive enough to know what's wrong without me having to say it and to drive as if the rest of us are precious cargo. Is that too much to ask?
Because even in the happiest marriages, there's always something that niggles. I'm not talking from a purely female perspective - hey, we girls can piss loads of people off all the time too! But I can only speak from my point of view within a marriage, which generally takes on the male-female aspects of relationships, rather than anything else. There definitely has to be a lot of give and take, sometimes happily done, sometimes a lifelong toleration, but that's the only way two people can live with each other for more than 50 years without taking each others' eyes out!
When I look at the single people around me, I wonder if they will ever hook up with anyone for life. People have so many "issues" and conditions about the way things should be and seem to forget there is another whole human being with a past and a future and dreams and aspirations that they have to learn to live with. We can't plug oddly shaped souls into our "partner dock"!
I say mothers really do shape the way a family progresses, and all too often good mothers put themselves down and let themselves feel guilty, or let others make them feel guilty, instead of owning their achievements and making a stand for their place inthe family. Of course, there are fathers who do more than they are expected to, as welll as single fathers and house husbands, but I want to talk about mothers today!
Even good mothers screw up, and they should just think of how they would treat their children if their kids screwed up too. Most mums feel compassion for their kids, so most mums should feel compassion for themselves too. However, if they are likely to beat up their kids for screwing up, then those mothers are either really harsh on themselves or are not good mothers at all (not a comment on spanking - I am on the fence about that, or rather, I am all over the place about that)
The other day I heard John Mayer singing "daughters" - every time I hear it I feel like having a cosmic cry over good people all over the world and cute good people like John Mayer who point out how fighting the good fight is a good thing. I love the concept of "good", not good in the religious or scholarly sense, but in the sense of us all being able to do the right thing, even when we do screw up and make mistakes, of having a good heart and being good to others for the sake of being good. Good in the truest sense of the word, good as we knew it back when reality was a nursery rhyme and everything had huge consequences.
If you can understand that meaning of good, you can see good in everyone, but I suppose that's not good for "the real world" where nobody else is practising "good"!