Tuesday, January 31, 2006

put your hand on your heart and tell me

...how big my bum is. No don't! I know already! Relaxing in front of a Kylie Concert DVD and admiring her miniscule but totally proportionate bum as she trots across the stage. Every now and then I get really lazy about my health, even though it's always playing on my mind.

I was born with one of those bodies that is soft all over. Even when I was a skinny thing at school, I never had the kind of muscle that bulked up or even retained shape. I danced for over 10 years, managed to get lots of spring in my jumps, but never really pushed myself to the point where I was particularly good. I could proudly say I had a gift for coordination that I couldn't match with my physical abilities!

Last night I watched the Serenity DVD (all you Firefly fans out there - I suppose there's some Firefly thing I could say but I can't really think of one, so, holler!) and watched Summer Glau do her amazing fight scenes.

And now tonight I see Kylie on the TV and I wonder, where did my sort-of fitness go? I would love to be able to say I let it all go after my first kid (and what song should Kylie be singing right now? "If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a single thing!" She ain't the pop princess for nothing) and that the dreary cycles of life have washed away my desires to get pumped and buff. But the sad truth is, it all kind of slipped away when I was not looking and now I don't think I could ever get back to my mediocre state of health...

Every now and then I attempt some yoga at home, but never really do it enough to know the moves by heart. Then I try watching what I eat - and everything starts to look boring and I need, absolutely NEED a kentucky fried chicken skin right away. Then I try setting myself goals to quit smoking by March (hah!) and find myself thinking, well, loads of people smoked before we knew the dangers, and if they didn't die of it, they died of something else. Then I think, naughty mummy! you should be setting an example! And after that I think, who asked anyone to think of me as an example to them and their uncles?! They should be their own examples and stop pointing fingers (was that an exercise in poised deflection?)

Then I think of that lovely philosophy about not piling guilt on everything that you do otherwise you create bad health just by thinking of it (I think that was the Convy Nient Philosophy of the Gutless and Undriven).

I think moderation is the key - I just don't practise it! (Waaail!)

When you really think of it, it's envy and jealousy that gets people striving to be better. I mean, I see Kylie's dimple-free thighs and I think, I could be like that if I tried. So does that mean I have not an ounce of envy or jealousy to drive me to be better? (I wish! Haha!)

Maybe it'snot fitness that's worrying me. Maybe I should spring-clean. Or move the furniture. Or switch to unit trusts. No, I think I should just use good old fashioned common sense and eat the right foods, put the furniture where it's needed the most and stop spending my money! (Oh, how I dream of the day I can walk into a mall with 5k to spend on myself (it would all be spent on shoes if i could find any in my size))

Living in my head,

C

4 comments:

Lizzam said...

I guess if you can remember me you'd see how thin I am. but I ate so much!but all those around me seems to be peculiar about food, and tries to hold off (just for a while) the temptations and try to lose weight and gain shape.

bah!

i just say one thing, (actually derived from a Buli scene before Nordin was attacked by the hen):

It's all in your head, so when you're devouring those delicious, saliva inducing, taste bud tingling KFC chicken skin, don't hold yourself back. just niat that you're eating to be slimmer...you should listen from a skinny person as to how to be slim (:p)

mamasan said...

"niat that you're eating to be slimmer" - what a concept! I like very much!

Edwin Sumun said...

you look great and you're an attractive woman. AND you blogged Kylie! I love ya!

yes, i look back at my 30inch waist days and wonder what i did with my self control. however, i look at myself now and smile at all the achievements i've had and i say, F*** it, I'll go get trousers that fit.

it's all for the living.

WLady said...

i have problem to shop for shoes too.. thanks to my model-size (read : big) feet.. and thank god they created Hush Puppies to cater model-size feet. bwahahahahah !

lizzam : that's good theory.. KFC.. here i come!

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