Monday, October 26, 2015

Where have I been?

Two years since my last post.

In our increasingly tiny-blog-post worls of twitter, facebook and instagram, i found i really had little to say in long form that i couldn't express better than in 140 characters or less.

I also found that it is very easy to feel good about one's opinion.

And also that one's opinion can get washed away in the face of what really matters in this world.

I went back to work after caring for babies exclusively and loving every moment of it. I find now, after a couple of years back in the rat race, it is really hard to justify work being the be-all and end-all of one's life. However it is hard to find the self-purpose in one's life if one is either tending wholly to others' needs, or if one tends to procrastinate as I do.

With the horrible 3 month long haze situation and depressingly chronic world order, the need to disconnect from social media feels stronger than ever, and yet, it is the one thing that becomes my escape from what it brings... I feel disaffected, overly plugged in yet disconnected. Fuzzy, like the haze.

Been thinking that whilst I have some daily professional purpose, I should really find the thing that I would most like to do, that would satisfy my own deepest personal motivations.

I have been thinking of what used to motivate me as a teen: movies, reading, writing, people-watching and eventually the theatre. These were my real loves before working in the industry destroyed my idealistic views of humanity. People are ignorant, whiny and lazy in real life. And all the nice ones are busy being purposeful.

I kind of gave up on the idea of writing anything because I really felt my forte was as an editor of sorts, or script vetter. I felt "telling my story" was boring for me. Still is. But the idea of putting my full effort into something interesting to me, by telling a complete fiction, seems workable.

I am a keen romance novel reader. I feel they are an underestimated form of catharsis for female readers. I am often aghast by the way male chauvinism is thinly veiled as feminist empowerment in romance novels, but love when I come across novels which somehow keep the romance norms yet subvert them and make awesome stories for women.

I would love to write a great fantasy novel, since those were my first love in books, with good thrillers and crime novels a close second. Science fiction, for some reason, seems a little meh compared to fantasy - and I am not sure why. Fantasy seems to hearken to something primal and medivaeval for me, so perhaps that is why i find Sci Fi tends to leave me a little cold. Too much "widget talk" as scriptwriting lecturers would say.

I have been enjoying instagram and posting outfits of the day. I find, even though I probably would have pooh-poohed such a thing 5 years ago, now it seems empowering being both frivolous and honest. After all, I am a large woman who doesn't believe how one looks should matter.

Which is probably why I am enjoying doing my #ootd posts:)

Anyways, am hoping to revitalise this blog. You may see a few posts regarding our business, but I have been actively doing that on my facebook and insta anway.

Still blustering through life,
C

1 comment:

Dewi Aja said...
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