winding down

In the past two days, knowing that my time at the office is ending for a few weeks at least, my whole body seems to be going into a sudden reverse. I'm getting ill, sore, weak and tired and have been sleeping long hours (it's been a cracker getting up at seven in the morning. Surprisingly it's hubby boo who has been making sure I get up to take baby one to school) At the same time I'm trying to back-pedal against time while I struggle to get my project accounts in order before I leave.

We're needing more office space. Not that there isn't enough, but there's so much stuff in the office that is not functional but we're storing for future use (props, clothes, equipment, and hubby boo's toy, oh, sorry, artistic character representations collection).

We have been doing without unfilled personnel positions for so long because we've always been a small outfit with few but capable hands, able to conduct our projects ourselves. But since the movie and concurrent TV productions, it is obvious we need more staff and a more corporate structure to our admin/management. But how do you expand when you're constricted by your budget and have no space to expand anyway? We have to bite the bullet, and we're going to have to take on new staff.

In fact, we've already started, what with Groovy Anne coming on early in the Los Dan Faun shoot and quickly whipping together photoshoots, press conferences, wrap parties and intimate costume and make up parties with studs of choice (for publicity shots of course).

We have some newbies on the freelance film team for Sumolah, but besides that, we will be getting an accounts/bookkeeper/receptionist, one of those rare people whom things can be delegated to, knowing they are intelligent enough to handle them on their own. Ah! Sweet Heaven! Hopefully he or she will be a boon to Pummelled Panini, who has been having a pretty crappy shoot, what with last-minute changes, weather problems, missing personnel and so on. She's so tired I wish I could win the lottery and send her on a two-month pleasure cruise of the Greek Islands. Baklava, anyone?

I always have a fantasy about winning loads of money and how I would spend it. And, I know it smacks of some wasted part of my soul, but sometimes no matter how extravagant my dream win is, I can't seem to find enough of it to spend (in my wishful thinking). They say when you get unearned money it never sticks - well, even in my daydreams I think it's true. Say I imagine I win a million bucks. Playing safe, I would pay my taxes (28%), store half of the balance in my ASN account or maybe some of that half in a unit trust. Then 200,000 to pay off all our loans for cars and property. Then I would decide on, oh, maybe 100,000 purely for spending or a holiday, and the rest divide into gifts to family. That's 50,000 to divide amongst hubbby boo and girls, my parents and sister, inlaws, my parents relatives and maybe some friends. That's at least 10-12 people, not including nephews and nieces.

And I wonder if 350k in ASN will be worth anything 50 years from now, what with inflation and fuel and living etc. I am sure more and more people will end up living with their parents to save on costs. Sheesh. I was really into the whole fly the coop at 18 thing, too. In Australia lots of kids get kicked out of home about 16 years old, to go out and make men and women out of themselves. I kind of like that, because I think kids need experience in life sooner rather than later. They need to know people out there can be cruel, nasty, stingy, mean and sadistic. And what better way for parents to start teaching them than by example?

Though I'm taking the piss, I really do believe in kids getting out into the real world as soon as possible according to their maturity of course. The younger they are when exposed to behaviour, social norms and such, the sooner they will be able to handle being a mature adult in the "real" world. Nothing seems more depressing to me than seeing a grown teen unable to hande mature conversation or even handle their emotions - purely because they have been sheltered from life. I should know, I was pretty gauche around 15, but that soon changed when I learned to live alone with my sister at 16. I learnt to run a household, cook, manage my time and be safe pretty quickly. (I suppose you could say that was easy, since my housemate was a particularly clean, tidy, thoughtful, small and compact and highly independent sister).

Having those basics in place allowed me to move to KL and live on my own. I was surprised by how many people asked me, wasn't I scared living on my own? I though it was such an odd question, since I thoroughly enjoyed it. The silence and not having to do things any other way but my own, as well as having uncluttered, open spaces in the home was wonderful. When I first got married, during times when hubby boo was travelling, hismum insisted that someone stayed with me at night, and it was very hard to convince her otherwise without being offensive. I know it was very thoughtful, but I simply loved and cherished my time on my own, and I still do, though that is very hard to come by nowadays (do they have timewarp cupboards I can stuff the family into?)

I realise that this break in work is kind of my break from cacophony and chaos. Even though I'll be re-entering another form of chaos, domestic life, I think it will be a retreat. A time to deal with simple, pure characters (children) and get myself a routine going (order). I think also my kids need a little more discipline that comes with an established routine. COming in and out of their lives and dispensing odd bouts of dicipline isn't the same thing. I want to be a stronger presence in their life and hopefully get them to grow up a bit (gosh, do they whinge!)

I suppose they learn it from their mother, blog whinger extraordinaire.
Lovey, C